Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
