I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
