She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
