we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
