please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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