Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
