Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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