i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
