ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
