If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
