Michael Bay diarrhea
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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