the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
