Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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