dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
