My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
