so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
