You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
