remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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