Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
