Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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