Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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