How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
