Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
