he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
