barbara walters just said penis...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
