So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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