I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wish my penis had a tongue
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
