I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
