Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
