I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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