Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
