i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
