I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
