Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
