She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
