One girl and one boy is just not enough.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
