gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
