My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
