True but thats because hes a fetus.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
