How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you had me at cake vodka
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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