mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
