Christians are straight up FREAKS
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
