Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
