Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
