I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize