she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize