I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
