Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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