I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
