I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
