i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
