OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
