yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
