We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
