I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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