k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
