thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My balls are so social today.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
