whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize