Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
