dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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