So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
